Jokes

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Krissy Posts: 15430 Joined: 8th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 16:08 on 30th July 2008 A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.' My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Denzil Tregallion Posts: 1764 Joined: 26th May 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 18:47 on 30th July 2008 SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . ... Not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . Having friends. At age 17 success is . ....Having a driver's license. At age 35 success is . . ..Having money. At age 50 success is . .. .Having money. At age 70 success is . . . Having a driver's license. At age 75 success is . . . Having friends. At age 80 success is . .. .Not piddling in your pants. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Diana Sinclair Posts: 10119 Joined: 3rd Apr 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 19:09 on 30th July 2008 LOL @ Denzil! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Paul Hilton Posts: 2605 Joined: 21st Nov 2004 Location: UK	quotePosted at 19:42 on 10th August 2008 America has just announced it's changing it's national emblem from an eagle to a condom. This is because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation; halts production; destroys the next generation; protects a bunch of pxxxxs and gives the population a sense of security while they're actually being sxxxxxd. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ruth Gregory Posts: 8072 Joined: 25th Jul 2007 Location: USA	quotePosted at 20:15 on 10th August 2008 Paul, LOL. Good one. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Wolf Posts: 3423 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: Australia	quotePosted at 02:47 on 11th August 2008 C Edited by: Wolf at:2nd November 2008 01:57 My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Peter Evans Posts: 3863 Joined: 20th Aug 2006 Location: UK	quotePosted at 10:46 on 11th August 2008 Nice one Wolf. I think some of those are to be lived by. Life would be more fun. 25 is briliant. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Diana Sinclair Posts: 10119 Joined: 3rd Apr 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 14:42 on 11th August 2008 LOL @ Wolf, this is too funny! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ruth Gregory Posts: 8072 Joined: 25th Jul 2007 Location: USA	quotePosted at 15:17 on 11th August 2008 LOL, Wolf! You missed one - about the pastor who asked the little boy in Sunday school what the Bible says about how you're supposed to treat your brothers and sisters, and the boy's reply was, "Thou shalt not kill?" My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Diana Sinclair Posts: 10119 Joined: 3rd Apr 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 15:24 on 11th August 2008 LOL, Ruth I must have missed that one too. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions