Jokes (Keep it clean, folks!)

a farmer had 5 female pigs times were really bad so he decided to sell them,--at the show he met another farmer who had 5 male pigs.

after a while they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50 the farmers lived 60 miles apart so they decided to meey 30 miles apart find a field and let them mate.

the first morning the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5am loaded the 5pigs into the land rover and drove the 30 miles --as they were mating thefarmer asked the other farmer how will i know if they are pregnant the other farmer replied  if they are in the grass in the morning they are pregnant if they are in the mud they are not.

the next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud so he hosed them down put them in the land rover and took them back again---this went on for a month--in the end he was that tired he called to his wife  mary have a look outside and tell me if the pigs are in the grass or in the mud,neither she replied they are in the land rover and one of them is honking the horn.

Gentleman's doorbell rings one morning and when he goes to answer it there is a snail on the doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Two years later there is a knock at the gentleman's door. He opens the door to find a snail on the doorstep. The snail looks up at him and asked him, "What was that all about?"