What does a baby computer call it's father?  -  Data,

What is a computer's first sign of old age? - Loss of memory

What happened when the computer fell on the floor? - It slipped a disc

Why was there a bug in the computer? - It was looking for a byte to eat.

Thanks you Peggy. I liked those. He he

A French language instructor was explaining about ‘Gender’, one puzzled student asked the gender of a computer, which was not in the French dictionary, therefore she split the class into two groups by gender and asked them to decide.

They were asked to give four reasons for their recommendations.

The men said, they should be ‘feminine’ because 1, nobody but their creator understands their logic. 2. The native language they used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to anyone else. 3. The smallest mistakes are stored in long- term memory for possible later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one 

You will find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.

The women’s group said it should be ‘masculine’ because 1.In order to get their attention you have to ‘turn them on’ 2. They have a lot of ‘data’ but don’t know how to use it. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are

The problem  4. As soon as you commit to one you realise, if you had waited a little longer you could have got a better model. 

THE WOMEN WON

INNER STRENGTH IS

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand why loved ones are

too busy to give you much time,

If you can overlook that people take things out on you

 when you’ve done nothing wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

 If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs

If YOU can do all these things

The local vicar was invited to the home of one of his parishioners for lunch, and while the parents were in the kitchen the vicar asked the little son did he know what they were having for lunch, Yes, said the little boy, we’re having “Goat”

“Goat” exclaimed the vicar in surprise, are you sure, Yes said the little boy, I heard my Mum say to my Dad that today is as good as any to have the old Goat.

author unknown

A young boy answered the door and told his Dad there was a man at the door collecting for the communal swimming pool,