Ron Brind
Posts: 1789
Joined: 11th Jun 2007
Location: United Kingdom | quotePosted at 16:19 on 3rd July 2008 Seeing Peter in his grey cap reminded me of my schooldays. I had one also with a white shirt, grey jumper, grey short trousers and long grey socks. It also reminded me of a story relating to a bunch of kids in class. They were asked what the collective description was for the following: Fish, the kid answered a shoal of fish. Whales, he answered a school of Whales. Crabs, he answered a dose!! |
Peter Evans
Posts: 2673
Joined: 20th Aug 2006
Location: United Kingdom | quotePosted at 23:04 on 8th July 2008 One day at the bus-stop, a young lady in a very tight mini skirt,tried to get on the bus. She found that the skirt was too tight for her to get her leg up enough to get her foot on the step. So she put her hand behind her and undid the zip a little, but still couldnt lift her leg enough to board the bus. So she pulled the zip down a bit more. She still couldnt raise her foot high enough to get on the bus. So, in desperation, she pulled the zip all the way down. But, she still couldnt raise her foot high enough. The man standing behind her, seeing her predicament, put his hand rround her waist and lifted her onto the platform of the bus. She spun around and shouted at him,"What do you think you are doing? Who gave you the right to touch me in that manner?". "Well" he said, "after you pulled my fly down three times, I thought we knew each other well enough". |
Ruth Gregory
Posts: 2298
Joined: 25th Jul 2007
Location: USA | quotePosted at 04:46 on 9th July 2008 Peter, LOL!! |
Diana Sinclair
Posts: 2961
Joined: 3rd Apr 2008
Location: USA | quotePosted at 12:55 on 9th July 2008 Oh my god Peter! LOL! |
Karen Richardson
Posts: 56
Joined: 12th Jul 2007
Location: Canada | quotePosted at 21:59 on 9th July 2008 Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a dumb ass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Mary called him a shit head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived and we had to head on home. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age. |
Paul Hilton
Posts: 735
Joined: 1st Jan 2005
Location: United Kingdom | quotePosted at 22:20 on 9th July 2008 I dated a new young lady friend the other night. Woke up in the morning, and noticed a photo of a young guy on her bedside table. I asked her--is that your boyfriend? She said. Nope. Is it your husband then? Nope. Getting exasperated, I asked--Well, who the heck is it then? She replied--That's me 6 months ago! |
Ray Stear
Posts: 830
Joined: 25th Apr 2008
Location: United Kingdom | quotePosted at 23:52 on 9th July 2008 Teacher is calling the register for her class. She gets to Tommy' 'Here Miss' says Tommy. Teacher says 'Tommy, why wern't you in school yesterday?' Tommy says 'Well, I was going to come, but dad got burnt so I could not' Teacher says 'I see , thanks for telling me. I hope dad is ok now?' Tommy says ' No miss, they don't mess about at the crematorium'. Ray. |
Lyn Greenaway
Posts: 4627
Joined: 10th Jun 2004
Location: United Kingdom | quotePosted at 06:56 on 10th July 2008 On 9th July 2008 21:59, Karen Richardson wrote:Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a dumb ass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Mary called him a shit head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived and we had to head on home. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
LOL now THAT is funny Karen!  |
Diana Sinclair
Posts: 2961
Joined: 3rd Apr 2008
Location: USA | quotePosted at 13:02 on 10th July 2008 On 9th July 2008 23:52, Ray Stear wrote: Teacher is calling the register for her class. She gets to Tommy' 'Here Miss' says Tommy. Teacher says 'Tommy, why wern't you in school yesterday?' Tommy says 'Well, I was going to come, but dad got burnt so I could not' Teacher says 'I see , thanks for telling me. I hope dad is ok now?' Tommy says ' No miss, they don't mess about at the crematorium'. Ray.
Ray: How morbid. You're just my kind of guy! LOL!  |
Jo Adams
Posts: 231
Joined: 23rd Sep 2006
Location: United Kingdom | quotePosted at 19:43 on 10th July 2008 For those of you outside the UK who don't believe there is actually a place name with 58 letters, I have just submitted a very old photograph to prove it!! Two American tourists were driving through Anglesey, North Wales. At LLanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch they stopped for lunch and one tourist asked the waitress "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are ..... very slowly?" The blonde waitress leaned over and said "Burrrr ..... gurrr ..... Kinngg" |
