"Charles"
I loved him very much,
More than he'll ever know,
He was a horrible alcoholic,
We reap what we do sow.

He had a great family,
He chose his own path,
He just didn't get it,
I tried to teach him the math.

I told him,
"You are pushing me away."
I told him several times,
"What else could I say?"

When you fear for your kids,
And your own life,
You have done the best you can,
I was his friend & almost his wife.

He threatened to harm me,
And cause me great pain,
He almost drove me,
Honestly, completely, ...insane.

I thought I was going nuts,
Because of all the mental abuse,
I realized it was the alcohol & him,
His love, now, I sadly, had to refuse.

As my heart ached,
As our love, was no more,
I felt I had died inside,
My whole body, from crying, was sore.

I felt so numb,
I could not think,
I was so scared, of him, at times,
I was seriously afraid, to blink.

He hid his bottles,
Left & right,
He kept them hid from me,
Way out of sight.

I wouldn't leave him, because I
Worried about him so,.
He was tricking me, so I'd stay, ..staying sick,
I should have left him a long time ago.

He now says, I'm a good woman,
And he wants me back,
God gave me peace, boldness, strength,
& wisdom that day---sharp as a tack.

We are so truely happy,
Now that he is gone,
For I can listen to my gospel music,
And at any time, in my house, sing... a....song.

You don't realize your freedom,
Until it's taken away,
Praise Your Holy Name Jesus!!!
I thank you for this beautiful day!!!

Jeannie 5-22-09 Age:37
I thank you

What would one say, I understand that everyone reads them, and no comments,

as I have been unsure what to say or which poem to post next. I am so grateful,

to my Jesus, for helping me be brave, and kick him out, when one does not want

to help themselves much, all we can do is pray for them. Which brings me to this thought and scripture as well. Thank you Lord, I wondered how I was to say this. I have not wrote anymore poems for this reason as well. I had a Poe member,

crush myheart as I was merely trying to help. I did not realize I was talking

to much in this one thread. I wore my feelings on my sleeve, as I mentioned

in one of my poems, we are all merely human. I refused to talk for a while,

but I have come to this decision. As all of Poe is listening. I will not keep

silent, I will not stoop to your level. You will tell off on your ownself, as you

will talk to much, and poe'ers will figure it out. I have decided the best thing

I could do is pray for you. As I knew of nothing else to do by cry at the time.

And God gave me this scripture, one stuck with in school, to help me:

Matthew 5:44 "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that

curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which

despitefully use you, and persecute you;"

Another one that came to mind,

John 15:17 & 18 "These things I command you, that ye love one

another." "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me

before it hated you."

Proverbs 14:1 "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish

plucketh it down with her hands."

Pslam 103: 1 "Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me,

bless his holy name."

I will stop there. Oh I have many, many more. but, feel I need to stop there.

I will post another poem now, as I will leave these thought here.

Edited by: Jeannie Fetters at:28th May 2009 13:21

perhaps no one comments becuase they have, or know someone, who's been there and they can relate to that situation, jeannie. its a sad fact that alcohol turns us into monsters.

Very true Michael. I almost was a monster to myself and my children, prasie God, almost the whole time I was one they were asleep, and didn't see this side of me. But I know God will reveal it to them at the end of time in Judgement. However, they will also see that I turned my life around, and stuck with God, and got rid of the monster that started it. I still crave alcohol sometimes everyday. And yes, sometimes I still do drink it, But Praise the Lord, I have not drank any in 3 -4 months now. I drink maybe a glass of wine, when I do, some timeis 1 -2 glasses of wine, and then I go to bed. For if Istay up, I know I will drink more. If I feel that I call it the yuk taste feeling, then I stop, and go to bed. I have learned to moderately drink, and sometimes I even had trouble doing this. That is why I also have not drank in 3-4 mths. My best friend Rose, was offended when she was my ride to town, and I asked her if she would stop at the liquior store so I could buy 1 bottle of wine, for the month. She said poliotely. "Jeannie, I'd really rather not stop, as I don't ant to be parked in the parkinglot, If Istop and allow you to buy it, and it's in my vehicle. to me, it'ss like saying to the world, I Rose think it's ok to drink. When "I" do not." We did not stop that day nor for the next 3 months. This si porbably the 4-or5th month, I have lost count. The good thing is I don't crave it like I did. Instead I started making me non-alcoholic fruity slushies/ icees. I haven't decided on wiether or not to buy any this month, as I have my own car now. The only thing I worry, are these 2 things. 1) I will be judged by the world, as a christian, if i purchase it and drink it. 2) Most people would see no problem in it, it's just stupid alcohol, a cheapy bottle of wine, and she drinks it moderately. Jesus, drank wine, what is wrong with her drinking it. Some good thoughts there. I look at it like this, If I am hurts my witness of representing Jesus, by me buying it, then I should not buy it. as I know how much I drink, but the world does not. So therefore, pray for me, I will do my absolute best to not purchase it, as I will be somewhat damaging my witnessing, of our Lord. I will let you know the out come.I my purchase it, but chose not to open it until an occasion. Undecided, knowing me, it will probably be a split decision at the last moment. I pray I make the right decision. You might ask yoursef, "Well, how do we know she wouldn't open it?" you wouldn't. So that solves it for me. I will not purchase it. You have my word !! I am not judging christians,that is God's job. What is your conscience telling you?

A new poem.....
"I Don't Do Hair Anymore !!"

My back hurts now
I will not do your hair anymore,
For I'm placing a sign
Out on my front door.

It will be out there
So others will see,
I don't mind helping
But, please don't use me.

I can not stand
For hours on end,
If you don't get it
To the Beautician's Shop, you, I will send.

I love doing hair
But my hands fall asleep,
My back aches so bad
My "good" health I will try to keep.

If you are depending on me
I will send you away,
Don't come back tomorrow
Or ask me another day.

I will not give in
Nor will I do your hair,
Keep bugging me, and Oh, Yes !!
HeHeHe !! My opinion I will share !

God help me to be nice
And be polite as I can be,
Please leave now or,
My foot you will see.

Jeannie Fetters age:37 5-23-09 1:09 p.m.

The little story that goes with this, and to why I wrote this poem, as I was calming down my anger. (smiles)
I worked on a girls hair for 2 hours, doing tiny french braids, (possibly called corn rolls) ( the way most African-Americans wear their hair sometimes) My daughter likes her hair this way as she is Indian, but has long thick wavy hair. When I finished a total of 2 hours on this girls hair, all I merely got was griping from her, for she was tired of sitting, and yes, I warned her it would probably take me at least 3 -5 hours, depending on the length, thicknes, and how tiny she wanted the braids. It takes me 5 hours to do my daughter's hair. However we take a lot of breaks, by eating and resting in between. I rest in the recliner, while she walks around in the house(my daughter) For the girl above. I really needed an extra 45 mins to finiish it right. She rushed me & I finished in 20 mins which equaled the 2 hours. The last 2 braids weren't as neat as the rest. -her loss. Her hair was layered which made it more difficult to do. I was told by a friend of mine, she had to pay $75.00 for just braids, and $106.00 if she wanted beads added to the braids. I wished sometimes I could do hair again. Other times I'm glad I can't. I didn't feel the girl above wasn't very appreciative of my time. I am making me a sign. That part is going to happen. It's the only way.

"How Could She"
I'm so mad
At my cousin's ex-wife,
She just lost all 3 boys
Cause she put a man #1 in her life.

She was selling drugs out of her house
This is so wrong, why couldn't she see,
I have no right to judge.
I oncew was almost in her shoes, yes,-...me.

I used to do drugs--
Ashamingly now--I smoked weed,
I miss it at times
But Jesus & my kids come 1st now to me.

God gave me a vision
As I sat that day in my traier,
If I didn't straighten up-
I would be a jailer.

I pictured her crying, "Don't take my mommie !!"
That was 9 years ago,
I thank you Jesus
I now can tstill teach her all I know.

My little angel is still with me.
Thank you Jesus, for this,
For I still have her
to hug & kiss.

Jeannie age :37 5-23-09 12:45 p.m.


Please pray for Dominque, age: 9-10?
Dillion
& Donavan ages 13 & 17
Andrea may face prison time. Not sure if she will survive prison. She should have thought about that first, plus her kids. Please also pray for my Aunt Shelby, the grandma we are worried, but trusting God, to keep the boys safe. Dominque has ADHD, please remember him, he already has enough on his plate to deal with. Alvin, The dad, my cousin,is trying to get full custody of at least Dominque, hopefully the other 2 boys as well. if not the other 2 boys, the other grandma is trying to get custody of them.

I must add on here, as I am no Angel either, I smoked weed, 1 yr. and 10 months ago. I know this is pushing it Ron, As we have young readers, but I do this to hopefully help themunderstand drugs are wrongfor you. no matter what anu body tells you. It harms and can kill your body, and you. See, my ex-fiancee/ex-boyfriend was pressuring me, smilar to teen pressures you face each day. with bullies, I gave in cause he wouldn't leave me alone about it. embarrassingly, and ashamingly, I was so messed up, and all he did was laugh at me. I couldn't function, I could not even get up off of the couch, to ... take care.. of my .... daughter...s h a m e o n m e !!!!!
It broke my heart--so---bad for I was being a horrible momma.....But, praise His Holy Name, God gave me the strength, and bravery to kick him out, 10-2008. I have been clean for 1 year and 10 months. And it is going to stay this way. I love my babies, my children, and I feel awful, foir how I was. but Praise God, now I am a new person, because God forgave me, as he can forgive you, and help you straighten up too. Do not ever be ashamed to speak to someone about getting help. I was ashamed, I wished I could have found someone to trust that I could Have told to help me. But , I needed someone to help him first, so that I could get help. I didn't know who could help him. I fifnally realized that he had to help himself, before anyone else could help him. So I started helping myself.he would offer, and I kept being persistanct, meaning I kept saying "NO!". He finally quit asking me. I kept begging him to stop, and to quit bringing it to my house, for I didn't want to lose my kids. I thought he had quit, but he hid it in our shed. I was so furious. It finally came down to, the decision of ...He had to go, I had no choice, but to kick him out. and yes,. I was afraid he'd be homeless again. but, my kids and I "had" to come first. not him anymore. I had to get my priorities together, 1st Is God, 2nd is my kids, 3rd is me. No man is worth losing your children over. please always remember this. I have fought very hard to keep my youngin's. they are my life. And I love them. I have wrote all of this to hopefully help someone out there somehow someway. Drugs can ruin your life. I am a stronger christian now, My Jesus and my kids come 1st now. always.-------Jeannie

(My thoughts: How do we know God...is God?)

King James Version:Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heaven

and the earth."

The Adventure Bible: Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heavens

and the earth."



King James Version: Exodus 3:13-15 13 "And Moses said unto God, Behold,

when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of

your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his

name? what shall I say unto them?" 14 "And God said unto Moses,

I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel,

I AM hath sent me unto you." 15 "And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus

shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, The LORD God of your fathers,

the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath sent me unto you: this is my name for ever, and this is my memorial unto all generations."



The Adventure Bible: Exodus 3:13 -15 13 "Moses said to God, 'Suppose I go

to the Israelites and say to them, "The God of your fathers has sent me to you,'

and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" 14 "God

said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM" This is what you are to say to the Israelites:

'I AM has sent me to you.' " 15 "God also said to Moses, 'Say to the Israelites, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers-- the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation."

Edited by: Jeannie Fetters at:28th May 2009 21:50

A few more scriptures and I will wait for comments:
King James Version:Saint John 1:1-4 1: "In the beginning was the Word, and
the Word was with God, and the Word was God." 2: "The same was in the beginning with God." 3: "All things were made by him; and without him was
not anything made that was made." 4: "In him was life; and the life was the
light of men."
The Adventure Bible: Saint John 1:1-4 1: " In the beginning was the Word, and
the Word was with God, and the Word was God." 2: "He was with God in the beginning."
3: "Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has
been made." 4:" In him was life, and that life was the light of men."

King James Version Ist John 4: 1-6 1:"Beloved, believe not every spirit, but
try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone
out into the world." 2: " Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:" 3: " And every
spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God:
and this is the spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world." 4: "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." 5: "They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world
heareth them." 6: " We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is
not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error."
King James Version 1st John 4: 15 15" Whosoever shall confess that Jesus
is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God
King James Version 1st John: 5:4-5 4: "For whatsoever is born of God
overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even
our faith." 5: " Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that
Jesus is the Son of God?"
King James Version Revelation 22: 5 5: "And there shall be no night there;
and theyneed no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them
light: and they shall reign for ever and ever."

Now:
The Adventure Bible: 1st John 4:1-6 1:"Dear friends, do not believe every
spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many
false prophets have gone out into the world." 2: " This is how you can
recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ
has come in the flesh is from God, 3: but every spirit that does not
acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which
you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world." 4: " You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in
you is greater than the one who is in the world." 5: " They are from the world
and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to
them." 6: " We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but
whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the
Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood."
The Adventure Bible 1st John 4: 15 15 " If anyone acknowledges that Jesus
is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God."
1st John 5:4-5 4:" for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the
victory that has overcome the world, even our faith." 5:" Who is it that
overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."
Revelation 22:5 5: " There will be no more night. They will not need the light
of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they
will reign for ever and ever."

I will wait on comment for about 30 mins. then I will post a nother poem, maybe something not quiet so seriously, as maybe something nice for the children now. I think the poems about my childen would be nice now.

I found a scripture that summed it up pretty well for the childen to maybe

understand a little better it is as follows:

Ecclesiastes 12: 13 & 14 King James Version:13 "Let us hear the

conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments:

for this is the whole duty of man."

King James Version: 14 " For God shall

bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good,

or whether it be evil."

Edited by: Jeannie Fetters at:28th May 2009 22:17