Albert and the lion
THERES A FAMOUS SEASIDE PLACE CALLED BLACKPOOL,
THATS NOTED FOR FRESH AIR AND FUN
AND MR AND MRS RAMSBOTTOM, WENT THERE WITH YOUNG ALBERT, THEIR SON.
A GRAND LITTLE LAD WAS THEIR ALBERT, ALL DRESSED IN HIS BEST; QUITE SWELL
E'D A STICK WITH AN 'ORSES 'EAD 'ANDLE
THE FINEST THAT WOOLWORTHS COULD SELLTHEY DIDNT THINK MUCH TO THE OCEAN, THE WAVES, THEY WAS FIDDLIN AND SMALL
THERE WAS NO WRECKS...NOBODY DROWNDED, FACT, NOTHING TO LAUGH AT, AT ALLSO SEEKING FOR FURTHER AMUSMENT, THEY PAID AND WENT IN THE ZOO. WHERE THEYD LIONS AND TIGERS AND CAMELS,
AND OLD ALE AND SANDWICHES TOOTHERE WAS ONE GREAT BIG LION CALLED WALLACE, HIS NOSE WERE ALL COVERED WITH SCARS, HE LAY IN A SOMNOLENT POSTURE, WITH THE SIDE OF HIS FACE TO THE BARS.NOW ALBERT HAD HEARD ABOUT LIONS, HOW THEY WERE FEROCIUOS AND WILD, AND TO SEE WALLACE LYING SO PEACFUL, WELL...IT DIDNT SEEM RIGHT TO THE CHILD
SO STRAIGHT AWAY THE BRAVE LITTLE FELLOW, NOT SHOWING A MORSEL OF FEAR, TOOK 'IS STICK WITH THE 'ORSES 'EAD 'ANDLE, AND PUSHED IT IN WALLACES EAR.
YOU COULD SEE THAT THE LION DIDNT LIKE IT, FOR GIVING A KIND OF A ROLL, HE PULLED ALBERT INSIDE OF THE CAGE WITH 'IM, AND SWALLOWED THE LITTLE LAD....WHOLE!
THEN PA, WHO HAD SEEN THE OCCURRENCE, AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT, SAID, 'MOTHER! YON LIONS 'ET ALBERT, AND MOTHER SAID 'EEH, I AM VEXED!
SO MR AND MRS RAMSBOTTOM, QUITE RIGHTLY WHEN ALLS SAID AND DONE, COMPLAINED TO THE ANIMAL KEEPER, THAT THE LION HAD EATEN THEIR SON.
THE KEEPER WAS QUITE NICE ABOUT IT, HE SAID 'WHAT A NASTY MISHAP, ARE YOU SURE ITS YOUR LAD HE'S EATEN?, PA SAID, 'AM I SURE? THERES HIS CAP!
SO THE MANAGER HAD TO BE SENT FOR, HE CAME AND HE SAID, 'WHATS TO DO? PA SAID ' YON LIONS 'EATEN OUR ALBERT, AND HIM IN HIS SUNDAY CLOTHES, TOO'
THEN MOTHER SAID, 'RIGHTS RIGHT, YOUNG FELLOW, I THINK ITS A SHAME AND A SIN. FOR A LION TO GO AND EAT ALBERT, AND AFTER WEVE PAID TO COME IN!
the manager wanted no trouble, he took out his purse right away, and said' how much to settle the matter?. AND PA SAID 'WHAT DO YOU USUALY PAY?.
BUT MOTHER HAD TURNED A BIT AWKWARD, WHEN SHE THOUGHT WHERE HER ALBERT HAD GONE. SHE SAID NO, SOMEONES GOT TO BE SUMMUNSED, SO THAT WAS DECIDED UPON
ROUND THEY WENT TO THE POLICE STATION, IN FRONT OF A MAGISTRATE CHAP
THEY TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPED TO ALBERT,AND PROVED IT BY SHOWING HIS CAP. THE MAGISTRATE GAVE HIS OPINON, THAT NO-ONE WAS TO BLAME, HE SAID THAT HE HOPED THE RAMSBOTTOMS, WOULD HAVE FURTHER SONS TO THEIR NAME. AT THAT MOTHER GOT PROPER BLAZIN, 'AND THANK YOU, SIR, KINDLY' SAID SHE, WHAT WASTE ALL OUR LIVES RAISING CLILDREN, TO FEED RUDY LIONS?, NOT ME!
this rhyme Albert and the lion can be heard recited in local dirlect by the late Stanley Holloway on You tube
